Tulips.com 2009 Bloom Map by RoozenGaarde!
Tulips.com 2009 Bloom Map by RoozenGaarde!
Tulips.com 2009 Bloom Map by RoozenGaarde!
Tulips.com 2009 Bloom Map by RoozenGaarde!

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  • by Glen on Sep 26, 2011 at 11:03:20 PM The New 52, part 2, redux

    Catwoman #1: Catwoman is a thief who has some angry people after her. She has a crate full of cats and a fence named Lola who used to be a showgirl but looks kind of like a dude. She has a possibly unhealthy obsession with Batman. She doesn't know who he really is but she likes getting into his tights. She also has some unresolved childhood trauma. Yawn. Selina poses as a bartender and learns of a worthless painting of a horse that the Russian mob uses as a token of leadership. Who wants to lay odds that Selina will soon be the possessor of a worthless painting of a horse and have some very angry Russians after her? When Batman shows up to scold her less scolding gets done than spanking. Nudge nudge, wink wink. They have to earn their T+ rating somehow. (Which Batman is this anyway? Shouldn't Bruce be too old for this type of behavior by now?) This might be DC's attempt to do a romance comic or it might just be fan service. The art is often quite nice to look at; but mostly when Selina is in the frame. The background characters are  more harshly drawn, almost caricatures. When she is in action as Catwoman the way she is drawn is oddly distorted. Hopefully this book will spend its time on Catwoman's heists with maybe a little downtime stalking Batman. If she turns into just another hero who has to save Gotham from its weekly apocalypse or if they start psychoanalyzing her obsessions or her childhood traumas then it will become much less worth reading.

    Nudge nudge, wink wink

    [Insert pussy joke here]

    DC Universe Presents #1: Deadman is the focus of the first five issue arc of DCU Presents. Boston Brand was an acrobat and a prick. Then he was killed. For some reason he ends up in a Hindu afterlife under the thumb of Rama. She tells him that he must live many other peoples lives, ala Quantum Leap, to make up for his past misdeeds. Now many lives later he feels that something is going wrong with the process. This issue is mostly back story and set up. There is a bit of humor when he tries to contact a psychic he used to know in the circus and there is a bit of bathos when we learn that the next person he must be is a wounded war vet. The art is serviceable and the lettering is readable. This book is going to take a least another issue before we have any idea where it is going.

    Ghosts. Can't live with them. Can't kill them again.

    Captain Atom #1: These are the continuing adventures of Not Dr Manhattan. Not Dr Manhattan is fighting a guy in a power suit (mechanical not three-piece). He uses a large burst of power and he notices that his fingers start to disintegrate. He immediately flies off to whine to his mentor Not Stephen Hawking. Not Stephen Hawking tells him that next time it might be his brain that disintegrates, but judging by his admitted lack of intelligence he might not notice. Then Not Dr Manhattan has to fly off to stop a nuclear meltdown and a volcanic eruption. Does this cause Not Dr Manhattan's brain to disintegrate? Judging by the fact that a second issue has been solicited, yes, but he doesn't even notice. All kidding aside, what about Not Dr Manhattan's junk? Not Dr Manhattan hides his junk by not making himself any. He much prefers to look like a giant, disturbing, blue Ken doll. Query: If Not Dr Manhattan ever has to make himself anatomically correct, will he be giving himself blue balls?

    Resurrection Man #1: Resurrection Man dies a lot. If he didn't die then he could never be resurrected, and if he could never be resurrected then what would be the point of Resurrection Man? So Resurrection Man has to do really stupid stuff periodically so that he can die. Because he is... Resurrection Man! (Any similarities between Resurrection Man and any deities living or dead is purely coincidental. Resurrection Man is not affiliated with any ongoing belief system. Your results may vary. Side effects of Resurrection Man may include nausea, headache, vomiting, dry mouth, death, or resurrection. No purchase necessary. Resurrection Man is void where prohibited.) When Resurrection Man is resurrected he gets a new power. Are these powers cumulative or does he get just one at a time? Who decides what powers Resurrection Man gets? What if one of the powers Resurrection Man gets during one of his resurrections is the power of not dying? Will he change is name to Not Dying Man? Resurrection Man does not need to have an intact body to be resurrected. When his body is minced in a jet engine he is resurrected within minutes in a completely unscathed body. Resurrection Man need never again worry about getting blind drunk and doing something he will regret for the rest of his life. Ugly tattoo? Resurrection. Venereal disease? Resurrection. Bad hair day? Resurrection. But what about the comic? you say. Well it seems that both the angels and the demons are jonesing for a hit off of Resurrection Man's primo soul stuff and Resurrection Man will have to keep killing himself in outrageous ways in order to keep one step ahead of them all. Frankly I can't see why they resurrected this character. Ha ha! See what I did there? That was a joke. Laugh bitches.

    B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth: Russia #1: Wait, that's not from DC. I know. Deal with it. In the aftermath of the King of Fear arc from last year, all kinds of feces is going down. Even in Russia. Kate Corrigan and Johann Kraus go to Moscow at the request of the Russian Occult Bureau. They experience one of the problems that the Russians are facing firsthand and they meet the horribly disfigured Director Iosif Nichayko. This is the third issue for new artist Tyler Crook. He seems to be settling in quite nicely. The way he draws his faces is quite spare but he manages to get a lot of expression out of them. Dr Corrigan has never looked this middle aged before. Maybe it is because of all of her extra responsibilities. Where Crook really shines though is when the monsters show up. His style becomes noticeably more detailed. His monster designs are suitably grotesque and every bit of slime, ichor, and putrescence is lovingly rendered. Dave Johnson will be doing the BPRD covers for awhile and with this one he knocks it out of the park as usual. Give Dave an excuse to play with Soviet propaganda and he goes to town. And don't forget the tentacles. You can never have too many tentacles.

    Whooooshh

    In the post-apocalyptic hellscape it is always good to have your own flame-thrower.

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